


The Dark Artifices: Japanese Occupation in Syonan-to

by Ivylovesdogs



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - World War II, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Chinese Blackthorn Family, Eurasian Emma Carstairs, Helen is briefly mentioned, Hurt/Comfort, Japanese Occupation, Mark is breifly mentioned, Not Canon Compliant, OCs added, POV Third Person, Singapore setting, World War II
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2020-11-22 15:49:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20876750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivylovesdogs/pseuds/Ivylovesdogs
Summary: February 15, 1942. The day the British surrendered Singapore to the Japanese. The mark when Singapura was changed to Syonan-to. The mark when the lives of those living in Singapura fell apart. Along with many others, Julian’s family was no exception.This is a story about family. How a family lives, loves, loses and grows; even in a time when families are destined to break, and growth is expected to be non-existent.





	1. 13 August 1942

**Author's Note:**

> *Historical accuracy is not guaranteed but will be maintained as much as possible. Most of the knowledge built on here is from family anecdotes, and Google searching when I’m unsure. Research is gathered from as many legitimate and reliable resources as possible.
> 
> **Anything that requires explaining-or translating, hint hint-will be in the notes section.
> 
> ***Tags, warnings and characters may be edited and added in the future.
> 
> ****Please help me to title this work if yalls have any ideas. Thank you!
> 
> I sincerely apologize if the story isn’t nice to you but please don’t drop hate. If there are any areas that I can improve, drop them as a comment so that I can make this better for you. All constructive feedback is appreciated!
> 
> If you would like to learn more about the Japanese Occupation and what life was like in Singapore at the time, let me know as a comment as well! I will then link future websites in which I have drawn information from. See you around!

The period after rations were always a fest. Where large crowds of young and old got down on their knees, and scraped the streets with their fingers. Mothers and aunties shifted the rag-bone infants in their makeshift slings, clearing their fronts as they dug their too-thick fingers into the cracked pavements. They muttered of the grains too dirty to be salvaged, how they were cheated of rice again (which may or may not have been true), but most of all how; their cataract-aged eyes served no help at all.

With eyes trained on the ground, Julian continued digging the crack of road stretched before him, cursing his too-short nails being unable to flick as much as he wanted into his bag. Sure he could call his 4 other siblings, but he wouldn’t make them beg or grovel, he owed them that much.

“You thieving dog! Come back here!”.

Julian looked over, spotting a boy drag 2 sacks of rice, sprinting down the street as 2 officers chased with batons. They pulled the back of his shirt, slamming his scrawny figure to the ground. It was a squirming mess of bony legs and the whack of batons, he’s a gon-, a sudden yelp and his scraggly legs continued bolting down the street, leaving the officers swearing in Japanese.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________ There were many things that made life very not worthwhile; the smell of waste that surrounded their ‘home’, the repetition of tapioca, sweet potato and rice, and the biting pain that crept up and around his stomach every other day when they had nothing. But there was one thing that made life somewhat worthwhile.

“Jules!”, his siblings running down the creaking staircase, rushing to hug him as if he were not a sack of bones. And their eyes, looking up as if he were the best thing in their life right now. He wished they didn’t look at him that way; not when he couldn’t bring food home, barely scraping 1 kati and a little bit for this week.

“Look what’s here!”, he pushed for some enthusiasm. His siblings giggled as they did whenever rice was an option, it was hard to hide his own. His siblings could enjoy rice while it was still available since they were growing. 

You won’t be feeding them rice for long. 

If the rumors that spread throughout the neighborhood were anything to go by, they would have to give up rice in entirely sooner than he liked. Powdered milk was vanishing quickly with every family being like his; big, 2 parents and many young children. Take out the part about having parents and another 2 older siblings, and that was their family in summary. Just another day with a 12-year-old and his 4 siblings.

Livvy ran far ahead into their ‘home’ with Ty being dragged behind her. Mumbled shouts of today’s harvest slurred with the increasingly loud creaks of their floor. He followed the pathway of creaking floor, off to the back where their kitchen-ish was. Julian smiled at Tavvy as he walked around the holes in the wood that revealed rusting nails. Tavvy walked next to him, talking animatedly about his day. All the cicadas Ty caught from the trees nearby and the stray puppies they chased under the house (much to Julian’s disapproval).

“You wont believe the harvest today! We have so much we can last 2 years on this! Look at the size of this!”, Livvy raised her rag-bone arms to the side for a size comparison of the mat where the tapioca laid unwashed in a pile. Julian ruffled their hair-filled heads with a gentle smile, not daring to break the happiness beaming out of Livvy with the news that tapiocas only lasted a year at best. With this humidity, lets just say that lasting 2 years wasn’t likely to happen. But still, he smiled fondly at them with the gentle smile. 

Yes, the gentle smile. The one that all his siblings were familiar with and loved, the rare one of pride and happiness that seemed to grow all the way up to his cheekbones. The one they wished appeared more, not just when they had food to live.The one that would appear in their mind to remind them that things would be okay if they were all together.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________  
_Guilt is a hard thing to tackle when you were the oldest of 4 young siblings._ He thought whilst cleaning tapiocas by touch. Their kitchen was only lit by sunlight from the backdoor, making it difficult to check the cleanliness of the tapiocas by sight alone. Sure they could turn on the one lamp they had, but that cost money they didn’t have. The one-third pot of rice boiled as he alternated between chopping tapiocas and fanning their wood fire, trying to blow the smoke towards the back door. 

He looked at the rather small tapioca in his hand and pushed the blade into it, stopping just before the edge cut into his palm. There was a time before all this where he stared into the kitchen, watching and wondering how his mother and Helen both had done it with such ease, pushing the blade just the right amount such that they didn’t cut their skin.

Now he knew. After many attempts where his palm was left with a shallow gash. So many such that the mark still remained slightly lighter than the surrounding skin, a long, diagonal line from the base of his index finger to the base of his palm. Of course he could use a cutting board, save himself the injuries; but there was something about doing it this way that felt like homely. 

Like he still had one.


	2. F-langfang guagefuage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimers are the same as that of Chap 1

Helen paced by the gap in the curtains; watching as officers patrolled the streets. They flashed lights through the peepholes of closed curtains, hearing out for any Mandarin as they stalked through their silenced neighborhood. They had cleared out the safety amulets that hung on their front door, removed the tapestries that hung on their walls and shoved them all into the furthest room, and hid their shoes near the back door.

She got down on fours, crawling to Tavvy‘s room, just as a white beam zoomed past her head from the crack in the curtains. Not here, not here, please. She turned the corner, sprinting on her fours into the room.

“Helen-”, she plastered her palm over Mark’s mouth, looking the way she came. _Nothing._ She released her breath, dragging it out to make sure it was silent. _Another day. We can do this._ Her siblings huddled at the corner, glancing fervently at the small window above them, startling at any crunch of the grass outside. Julian cradled Tavvy to his chest, sitting the furthest away from the door with his back pressed into the wall. Dru curled next to him, resting her head on his arm. She bit her lips as her eyes watered, her chubby fingers clutching Julian’s wrist with a vice grip. Julian brushed her raggedly cut hair, “不用怕, they won’t come.”, cooing as gently and softly as he could.

Helen couldn’t help the sad smile that tugged her lips. Julian was always a dependable one as the second of the seven of them. _If we ever parted-._ They wouldn’t. They would have to get through her first. 

_CRAK!_

Helen leapt up, stretching her arm out in front of them as Mark crawled up behind her. _The break-ins aren’t usually this loud-_

“Scout the place!”, harsh Japanese echoed, reverberating through their door from a much closer place than they would have liked. Helen placed her palm against the door, holding it closed if anyone were to break through. She winced hearing the other doors being flung open and ripped from their hinges, china vases that housed pussy willows from the last new year celebration cracked and echoed into the floor.

Julian cradled Tavvy and Dru closer, closing his palms over their ears as they huddled their cheeks against him. Ty hid behind Livvy, pressing closer into the wall as he rubbed his own neck harshly, swiping up and down with his palms bracing his head, starting from his ears. Livvy firmly held his forearms, steeling fear away from her own face.

“What’s happening?”, Julian mouthed to her, his face only slightly creased with worry. She knew it was way more than that. 

“If they get here-”

Helen flew back on her back, knocking into Mark as a shadow knocked the door down. The soldier’s figure was a black wall that strode towards them, clamping his boot on Helen’s cheek as he slapped Mark away. He waved a hand in a beckoning motion and someone spilled out before them.

“Who is the _spy_?”, he interrogated, lacing venom all over ‘spy’, “Point to me.”. She didn’t need a translator to know what they were talking about. _This rat!_ Helen squirmed, trying to pull the boot away by the pant leg. Another hand clawing in her neighbor’s direction as he knelt in rags, his shaking eyes trained on the floor. _They can’t know about Mark. He can’t expose him. He can’t-._ Her siblings rushed in shouting, swatting and biting the leg as they tried prying it off her face. Ty and Julian knocking with fists and Livvy peeling his pants up before sinking her teeth in.

The room fell quiet with a glint of silver. She heard their feet scamper as he barked again, directing the blade towards her own neck. Suppressing a shiver, she directed her gaze to her neighbor, her gaze pleading and groveling in the millisecond their eyes locked. _They’ll kill him. You know they will, please, please..._

Her neighbor’s eyes hardened with scorn as he gulped deeply. His fingers shook violently as they raised up.

_No!_

She flung her legs towards him, kicking blindly against her tears to push his hands down, “NO! PLEASE-”.

He pointed at Mark.

Mark stomped over, shoving their neighbor to the ground, “你出卖我!”. The officer shoved him down, punching him across the face as she scrambled towards him, coughing. Beefy arms tugged Mark by the front of his shirt as he rooted his heels into the floor, crashing into another vase. Her siblings chased after Helen on her knees, crawling behind as she begged, “I’ll give you money! I’ll give you all of it! Just spare my brother! That man lied! My brother- He has no use to you! Please-”

A resounding smack cut through the air as Helen tumbled to the ground, bleeding out of her nose,“姐!”. She pulled herself upright, chasing a few more steps before Mark was lugged out the front door.

“I work for Guomindang!”, the officer turned back at her. ‘No!’, mouthed Mark with his face reddened with handprints. “I know what you _filthy_ rats are up to! My brother knows nothing about this.”. _Stay with them. Protect them._ She alternated glares between Mark and the officer, shaking arms out as she held her siblings back, “Take me and spare them! They’re just children...”, her voice cracked. _This is it. The final straw._

“姐！不要！You can’t go! You can’t leave us- We stay _together_-“. 

She crumpled down, choking on tears that throbbed at her throat. _Don’t cry. For them._ She ruffled their smooth and dark-brown hair that was just like their parent’s, “要乖，听话. Listen to your brother okay? He’ll take care of you, okay?”. All of them bawled into her clothes as she stroked their supple cheeks, their pudgy fingers clawing the fabric, _You’re so young still. I’m so sorry._ She shot Julian a glance, _help Mark take care of them_, she conveyed to Julian’s tearing eyes. “Don’tfont stayfay herefere.”, she forced a smile before leaning down to kiss Tavvy on the head. “I’ll come back okay? I’ll celebrate all your birthdays- I have to go.”. She staked off as confidently as her shaking legs could carry her into the officer’s grasp.

The officer hauled her back by the collar, leering into her neck, “You’d make a good geisha,”, and thrashed her into the van. _Goodbye Mark_, she hoped to convey in the last parting glance with her brother. Dru and the twins broke from Julian’s grasp and ran after towards the van, pounding on the sides with Mark as the van geared to a start. 

The van sped off as Helen peeled her eyes away, tears spilling down her face as she committed every sibling’s face to memory. “姐! 不要走! 姐!”, she heard them scream gutturally at the meshed window, running and jumping to see her. 

“We have to go.”, Julian said steely as Ty and Livvy fought his grasp.

“You let her go! You let her go with _them_!”, Ty flung himself off Julian’s one-handed grip.

“Ty, its not like that-”

“I hate you! I hate Mark! I hate both of you!”, he turned to Mark, “You broke our family!”, Ty spat.

“Ty stop. We have to go-”, Julian stretched a hand to grip Ty’s wrist.  
“SCREAM ALL YOU WANT! SHE’S NOT COMING BACK! 她不会回来了!”, Ty slowly backed towards Julian as Mark echoed down the neighborhood, “It’s _my_ fault, _MY_ FAULT! YOU HAPPY WITH THAT?”.

“Mark-”, Julian stepped forward.

“We’re doing as she says. We’re leaving. _Now._”, Mark reached down and gripped Ty, dragging him home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> 你出卖我 - You betrayed me  
姐 - Sister/Sis  
不要 - No/(I) don’t want  
要乖，听话 - Be good and listen/To ask a child to be well-behaved, especially if you’re not going to be around  
不要走 - Don’t go  
她不会回来了 - She’s not coming back


	3. 19th August 1942

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimers are the same as that of Chap 1.

Emma scraped the last of last bag, raking her fingers on the inside in hopes that a few more grains popped out. But alas, there was only 5 in her bowl. She clutched the right side of her abdomen gently as pain burned about. _One day stomach. Just one more day, and I can steal another 2 bags._ And guilt made a painful entrance.

Emma never thought she would end up here; sleeping on the slummiest of streets and stealing to survive. She knew full well that stealing was wrong; her parents had instilled that enough times. One need not be the sharpest tool in the shed. With good values, one can still earn an honest living. What would they think of her now? Stealing like the lowest of criminals. 

But she knew how the Japanese treated everyone, with scorn and violence. They had treated her parents the same way, battering them like dogs when they attempted to flee. Just like how they stole her parents, she could steal from them too. What was so wrong with that?

She laid herself down on the cooled concrete, curling herself under an old attap piece as the pain chewed her heart like chicken. Oh how she missed chicken, especially chicken wings; Ah Hai’s ha cheong gai was the best and no one could ever convince her otherwise. Her stomach grumbled yearningly, a constant reminder that what was before, remains before. There is no Ah Hai and her parents were not coming back. There is no time to think about the past when every day consisted of a daily survival routine.

_Sleep till the sun shines, follow the cacophony of noise, wait a street away and make the getaway._ She shut her eyes, holding the pendent close. Even in the dead of night and the darkest of shadows, the edge glimmered. It was a gift from her mother when she was 10. She centered it at the core of her palm, closing around it as she brought it to her lips, “Goodnight Ma.”, and brought it to her heart. As she recited her promise that never changed.

**I will live. I will keep my name. I will honor my mother, and all before her.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha Cheong Gai- Prawn paste (fried) chicken
> 
> PS: It’s not my favorite but its pretty good.


	4. Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimers are the same as that of Chap 1.
> 
> NOTE: Posting will be halted for a while due to the fact that school is starting and I might not have as much time/inspo to write. Thank you

“Emma?”, her eyes blinked lazily at the clipped voice that could only be one person’s, “Wake up dear, the new year has come.”. Sleep still sat heavily on her eyelids, pushing and squeezing her eyes shut as she stumbled with Ah Hai to the bathroom.

New Year meant 2 things in Emma’s household; it was the first of January, or an obscure date _between_ January and February. If she was honest with herself, she largely preferred the latter. Reds, pinks, yellows and oranges dotted every corner of their house, leaving no door or wall behind on the decor. Bougainvilleas and pussy willows bloomed in white marble vases and pots, of every size under Ah Hai’s tender loving care. They sprouted warm and bright colours of shades she couldn’t name, with individual flowers on their bougainvilleas carrying a blend of 2 colours in one petal. 

Oh how she couldn’t wait for this day to arrive in the days before of preparations. That was until 守岁 came into the picture.

Emma had volunteered herself to be apart of it all. “Will Mummy _really_ live longer if I stay up?”, she had asked Ah Hai one night while being tucked off to bed. 

“当然! 祖先们看到一个这么孝顺的女儿，一定会祝福妈妈的!”, Ah Hai squished her cheeks as she told her. Ah Hai has always been a sister to Emma, but not just because she called Emma’s mother 妈妈. Ah Hai had changed her diapers and swaddled her close ever since she was born, taking care of her, and her mother, for her whole life. In that sense, Ah Hai was her mother too.

“Ma?”, Emma called softly from the door of her mother’s room. It was a rarity to be inside her mother’s room that was usually out-of-bounds to Emma’s itchy fingers, and even rarer that her mother had called her here. Her mother sat at her vanity, in her new cheongsam that was a deep, vibrant purple that differed largely from her daily dresses.

Fine, gold threads twinkled under the single sunbeam that shone between room curtains, glittering in a way that was different from that of casual yellow; it was muted yet bold, shining and metallic yet still having a ever so slight pinkish hue.

“宝贝?”, Emma closed her gaping lips as her mother turned round with comfortable poise, making Emma feel shabby with her unruly hair and pajamas. “好看吗?”, her mother stood from her place, giving a small spin as she showed Emma both the front and back of her outfit. 

Gold glittered gently whenever the light hit it, and the purple silk shined with a smooth sheen as if dancing on her mother’s body. Emma wanted to be just like that; to make the cloths sing like her mother did, to smile gently like her mother so that everyone gaped , to shine even if there was no gold. Just like her mother. 

Her mother ruffled her messy hair, eyes smiling like crescent moons when she looked down at her. Emma legs seemed to have carried themselves over to wherever her mother was; now dangling inches off the floor from the chair as her mother tinkered with a jewelry box she had never seen before. It was a small lacquer box, that was the shade of mahogany with the goddess of mercy, Guan Yin, painted on it.

“This box was a present from your father. It belonged to an old ancestor of his, who carried this everywhere he went in a time of great suffering. It was a talisman for him, allowing him to tide through his troubles in hopes that Guan Yin heard and would help ease his suffering, from wherever he was.”. 

She lifted the lid gently with the fleshy part of her thumb, “在我嫁给你爸爸的那一天，_我_的妈妈，_你_的外婆，把这个项链送给我.”. She lifted its gold cord, her eyes smiling sadly as the jade glowed a dark and eerie green under the sunlight; it looked too much like the eyes of the neighborhood cat that scratched her once, “我戴这个玉佩戴太久了，现在到你来戴在身上.”. She clasped it on to Emma’s neck, the sadness not quite leaving her eyes as she slipped it on.

“If you like it, why don’t you keep it? You seem sad having to give it away.”. Her mother’s gentle smile twinkled with tears. 

“My mother gave it to me on the new year that I was 10. Now that you are 10, it’s time for you to have it.”. Emma still wasn’t convinced and she knew it. She sighed as she brushed Emma’s hair between her fingers.

“You always miss me when I go away on trips don’t you?”. Emma bit her lips, shaken out of her train of thought to return the pedant back to her mother. _How did she know?_

“Ah Hai told me that much.”, she looked down at the green orb of jade, placing her palms over it and her own heart, “I’ve worn this for a long time, placing this over my heart for so long, that a part of me is in there. The same as your 外婆 and all the women before her.”.

Her mother held the jade at the centre of her palm, looking as if to say goodbye, “If you ever feel lonely when I, or your daddy, or Ah Hai are not right there with you, just remember that a part of us is _still_ with you. And will _always_ be, as long as this pendant stays with you.”.

Emma still frowned sadly at the pendant on her chest; if her mother was sad giving it, she would never accept it. Never. Even if it were whole plates of chocolate, and Ah Hai’s ha cheong gai. Her mother pulled her in close for a cheeky whisper, “I can talk to you from the pendant when I’m not around too.”.

_Really?_ Emma eyed the trails in the jade that seemed to swirl and speak, pulling the orb to her ear. And she _swore_ she could hear the voice of her mother, gently saying 我爱你 as her hair was brushed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 守岁 - A tradition in which people stay up as long as they can into the night on the eve of Chinese New Year in order to celebrate/bless and extend the longevity of their parent’s life.  
当然 - Of course  
祖先们看到一个这么孝顺的女儿，一定会祝福妈妈的 - When your ancestors see that you are such a filial daughter, they would definitely bless your mother  
妈妈 - Mum/mom/mother  
宝贝 - Baby/Dear/a term of endearment that is (usually) to someone younger  
好看吗 - Does it look nice  
在我嫁给你爸爸的那一天，我的妈妈，你的外婆，把这个项链送给我 - On the day that I married your father, my mother, your grandmother, gave this necklace to me  
我戴这个玉佩戴太久了，现在到你来戴在身上 - , I have worn this pendant for too long, now its time for you to wear it  
外婆 - (maternal) grandmother  
我爱你- I love you
> 
> *Please do drop a comment if my Chinese is grammatically wrong. My Chinese is not the best but I still want to bring the language to you since it is a part of the characters’ cultures. 
> 
> **Google Translate is also not a reliable source for grammatically correct Chinese. Don’t ask why I know this.


	5. 20th August 1942

Emma forced her eyes open. The gentle coos of her mother fading away in wisps as the sounds of shuffling feet stampeded over. The shudder over her body was electric; the rare breeze of 5am cool blowing away the warm imprints of her mother’s hug. She ran her fingers through her hair, tugging lightly at the ends as if in anticipation for more.

The shuffling of worn shoes brought her away from the stupor of needing more sleep. With a brisk fold of the odd-shaped mat she had come to call ‘house’, she chucked it against an abandoned pile of boxes she had come to recognize from the corner of her eye. Then sauntering off away from the crowd, drifting closer to the wall as the daily cacophony for food grew louder. She walked briskly, steering away from puddles and random masses as she made her way through in the dark early morning. Placing a finger in front of her nostrils did little to cover the stench that has been increasing over the days; the smell of rot had began to join in.

She had learnt the hard way never to look at the surroundings too much; one kick that led to a trip and fall left her staring face-to-face of a man, his mouth hardened open as he struggled for a last breath he never got. The was the unfortunate plight for homeless bums. To freeze. To starve. To never breathe again. She shook the thoughts away before they grew, speeding up her pace as she neared her usual lookout.

_3 beneath the desk. Fourth one at the foot of the soldier._

_They’re tightening security._

She felt a smirk creep painfully across her face; a bunch of burly man outsmarted by a little girl, enough to make them wary. She gave a light scoff, scouting the crowd that pushed and shoved. A red-faced child wailed in it’s sling, a woman wobbled on her rag-bone legs, a man hunched over a long branch.

She crept over, keeping slick against the wall till she approached the crowd. She slotted in through an obscure corner of the crowd, her eyes trained on the scraggly white hair before her. _I’m sorry Ma._

The branch hit the ground, taking the man with him. Plump ladies and family men turned behind to catch him just before his knees hit the ground. ‘Are you okay’s hurriedly filling the air in a variety of languages as weakened men struggled to hold the man’s weight. She slipped off behind him with a shuffle of her feet, swiping her hand across the ground where his ration card had fallen, sliding it into the hem of her shorts. Placing her shirt over it, she gulped down the guilty lump in her throat and looked straight ahead.

She breathed through the pounding of her heart, sliding and shuffling to let others before her. _I already stole from an innocent. I need not be the first-_

Her body acted before her thoughts did; her body turning back and flying a fist even before her mind said _someone’s caught your wrist._ Fiery defensiveness shook through her body as her fist came to a stop, leaving as quickly it came. Her fist loosening as she regarded the shock of brown hair before her.

“Jules?”


	6. 20th August 1942

Julian’s grip remained on Emma’s wrist as they shuffled their way to the rationing table, like salmon that swam upstream in the frigid months. Emma snuck out ‘her’ card just as Julian pulled his out in preparation. A small 1 kati bag of rice strewn on the table even before they showed their cards, “I’ll share some of ours.”, he whispered briskly before nudging her hand away.

“Next!”, the officer barked, waving them off with a flick of the wrist even before Julian had the time to fully inventory their rations.

“But sir, I’m supposed to collect milk—”

“Mō iya.”, the officer swiped him away, placing another 2 bags of rice at the spot where he stood.

“Please officer, I have a 2-year old brother—”

The officer walked round to the front of the desk and shoved Julian by the shoulder, “Saitei”, he spat before proceeding to swipe his hands off. Emma glared at the officer, blatantly swiping another kati of rice as she stormed off.

Plucking a stunned Julian by the wrist, she pulled him in the opposite way of the queue. The shouts of enraged officers catching up to them as they ran faster and faster, sneaking into the alley.

______________________________________________________

“Emma.”, she continually pulled him along even as she felt his heels dig into the floor, “Emma. Stop.”. She turned round to face him. “Right.”, making an elaborate act of letting go of his wrist, “You can go home now. Bye—”

“You’re angry at the officer. Not me.”

She stopped short, heaving a sigh as she turned back to face him. He looked older than 12 now; no longer the baby-faced boy she played with at each other’s houses, running around tables and chairs, pretending they were tattooed warriors who fought demons from the fairytales they were told as children.

“It’s good to see you again, Emma.”, he continued casually, as if they were old friends who didn’t see each other for a week whenever Emma went back to Britain. Something seemed to twist inside her at that thought.

His gaze momentarily glanced behind her, tutting his chin. She turned back, her body shuddering as she spotted what he was looking at. She pulled the hem of her shirt over the slightly exposed card, tilting her head down as she broke into a brisk walk—

“Uncle!”

_Curse you Julian. Curse you and your morals._ She thought as her feet halted. He grabbed Emma by the wrist, pulling her together with him as they approached the old man who squinted at them.

“Adakah saya mengenali awak?”, the man’s voice quivering as much as his raised fingers that pointed to the 2 of them. She tugged Julian’s arm, shooting him a ‘Leave. Now’ glance that he blatantly ignored.

“You drop this one lah, Uncle.”, Julian replied with a pointed glance back at Emma. She huffed, slapping the card under her shirt onto his palm before looking away from them both.

The man squinted at his card, a relaxed smile stretching across his face as he folded the card along its creases, placing it back into his pocket. Lightly taking their hands in his shaking own, he tapped the backs of their hands, whispering ‘good’ out of his parched lips. Emma pulled away as the warmth of his hands grew too familiar, crossing her arms over her chest as guilt weighed her heart like a kati of rice.

They quickly said their brief goodbyes to the old man. Emma walking a good distance ahead, occasionally peeking back to see if Julian was there, and her heart warming every time he was.

“Why did you do that?”, the mixture of anger and curiosity inescapable from her voice.

“He dropped his card and he couldn’t get any rations. It was only right of us to return it to him.”, his reply plain and factual.

“You knew I stole it. Besides,”, she gulped, “he’s a foot into his grave, and an easy target. Stealing from him doesn’t make much difference.”, keeping her eyes down on her shadow cast on the floor.

“I know you don’t think that. The Emma I remember would fiercely fight that logic—”

“Maybe I’m not that same Emma.”. _I hate how right you are_, the thought seemed to hang inside her, pounding loud and clear against the silence that now hung between them. “My parents are waiting.”, turning on her heel so she couldn’t see her lie evaporate, to avoid those eyes that saw cleanly into her.

______________________________________________________

She turned the corner, leaning against the wall as the shuffling of shoes filled up their silence. She felt her heart sink even before she peeked back again; how quickly she missed him now.

_Julian will do Julian things. Emma will do Emma things._ She thought as she set up her ‘house’. She steeled her heart against the loneliness that seemed to hole up next to her guilt, crunching on raw rice that seemed bitter as soap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to correct the Japanese and Malay (Bahasa Melayu) in this chapter by leaving a comment. These translations were all taken from Google Translate and we all know how that goes...
> 
> Translations:  
Mō iya = No more (in Japanese)  
Saitei = A term to call someone low class or disgusting (in Japanese)  
Adakah saya mengenali awak = Do I know you (in Behasa Melayu)
> 
> *Just a note for anyone who is confused, the old man is not related to Julian in any way. It’s just customary to call a person older than you Uncle or Aunty (even if they’re not related to you or you haven’t seen them before in your life)


End file.
